Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast

I think it was the White Queen from Alice in Wonderland who said she could imagine six impossible things before breakfast. I wish the things that I believed in and had to deal with before breakfast were IMPOSSIBLE and also that breakfast wasn’t bolted down at 0400 with a gap of 280 kms before the all important Second Breakfast.

darwin= Toothbrush one  This is the Wall Map at Bark Hut – Toothbrush One is Darwin… Toothbrush Two is between Adelaide River and Pine Creek. Toothbrush three – all the way to the right. 

Phone calls during the night, we know, are Bad. Phone calls after you get up, but before breakfast aren’t good either.  Within twenty minutes of leaving Toothbrush One, I had the news that we had had an accident at Toothbrush Two – one truck had backed down into another.

 BUGGER. BUGGER BUGGER.

I said some other words but… this is a G rated blog (So Kris can show her girls- when it’s not too sad), so I’ll leave them out.

The reason why I don’t like trucks operating too close together, is that 35 – 50 tonnes travelling at 40kmph, doesn’t stop exactly quickly… and you end up with

A Damaged Truck 

This is not what happened to our truck. This was a fatality about five years ago, I believe: in South East Queensland. The brakes on the rear truck failed and it went sliding into the one in front. However, one truck backing into another is just STUPIDITY.

 And Dangerous.

 BUGGER.

Then at about 0615, as the Project Manager (he has a broken leg and can’t drive) and I drove in (Green Car is at home resting, this week) the phone rang again. Bear in mind: it’s still dark and I’m running on a breakfast of Pepsi and Crown Mints.

We’ve had incidents at Toothbrush Three.

 BUGGER BUGGER BUGGERBUGGERBUGGER.

And did I say it?

BUGGER

 I cannot comprehend how you can drive off in a vehicle that is still attached to a fuel bowser. Especially when you have to step over a 6inch thick hose to get to the ladder to climb up into the truck.   Nor do I understand how you can put Unleaded fuel into a Diesel Landcruiser. And if you get bitten by a bug.. harden up and dry your eyes, Princess.

(Not kidding – I have a 15 page incident report to complete because someone got bitten by a March Fly.)

The First one is a massive case of BUGGER and that’s what I would like to do to the two people involved.  With a Fish fork. Driving off with a fuel hose still attached means that neither the driver nor the refueller were paying attention to their jobs.

TWERPS.

Putting the wrong fuel into your work car:  you are officially an IDIOT (I find this incident amusing because we don’t employ that person, and it’s not our vehicle).

Twerp!

And… yeah – I’m still on ‘Harden up, Dry your eyes” for the bug bite.

Sympathy. I know when to feel it.

It’s now Monday afternoon, I’m beginning to suffer from a dose of the sleepydrunkies (when you’re feeling so sleepy and tired that you’re about 0.08 BAL). I think this is a good time to share my recipe for the cure for sleepiesdrunkies.

 It’s very simple: Strong coffee.

I call it Fraggle Coffee.

Fraggles

This recipe should not be confused with the one for the cure for the caffeine deprivation withdrawals (that one involves ice-cream) I start to feel on Saturday afternoon. We’ll call that one Caffiedone.

 Ok – Making the non-sleepiesdrunkies Fraggle coffee. You need a cup, a tablespoon, sugar, UHT milk (don’t argue!) and Coffee. Plus some hot water.

Noting that I drink this in the middle of the Northern Territory, where the water that comes out of the cold tap is boiling hot, I use only a little hot water.

To start: three tablespoons of coffee (don’t argue!) two tablespoons of sugar (Uh!!! I said don’t!) and a half a cup of hot water. From either the hot or cold tap. And then add another half a cup of the thick UHT milk. Stir. Drink.

 Wait ten minutes and the sleepydrunkies turns into Red Fraggle.

 Fraggles  – See the resemblance?

Which, considering I will be spending my day chasing after people… is a good thing. And tonight:  the border for our friend the Peach Blanket. I have two balls of merino – I’m not afraid of anything!See you tomorrow!

~ by SB&C on October 15, 2007.

8 Responses to “Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast”

  1. That coffee actually sounds really, really nice!

    — Michelle

  2. Hi
    And not a mention of a red frog or screaming soda anywwhere!
    now I justput an answer on your blog, but then it disappeared! Wanted to let you know that your parcel arrived today – the mailing ladies insisted thqat I dismember it in their presence. Lots of oohs and ahhs about the angel, but then it was decided you could make your fortune out of digger bear! I think they put his hat back on wrong though.

    And life for you ain’t boring, is it!!!!! You could sell tickets to your conversation with the fuel line fools though!
    love from me.

  3. well if you sell tickets…i’d buy one! but since it would take me a couple of days to get there, i’d miss it. so don’t forget to tape it, cause i think it would just as amusing as todays blog! thanks for the chuckle first this in the morning. have not laughed like that this early in the morning in a long time! glad to see you still have your sense of humor through it all. i know you need to hang on to that!

    talk soon!
    kris

    ps….don’t hold back the naughty words cuz of my girls they have heard it all (i think!)

  4. I am with you, how can you not notice a truck is still attached to a fuel line??? You didn’t mention any injuries other than the whiney person with the bug bite so that’s a major blessing. Hope the rest of your day improves!

  5. Well, your life is not boring. And, I know those waves of tired when I’ve not had enough sleep; feels as if I’m smothering. Red Fraggle coffee is a perfect solution…except when I want to sleep again, then I’m tired and wired. LOL. The crocheting is stunning, I’ve definitely lived a sheltered life. I picked up some wonderful mercerized cotton over the week-end and I’m going to give this a go. Gee, drive off with HUGE fuel line attached; I have read the studies of people so used to repetitive actions that they no longer see…red stripes on the fuel lines? fraggle faces on the fuel lines? I guess your job really does cost containment eh? I love the photos of the lawn bowling (previous post)…seemed a sweet night. Get some rest.

  6. Wow! not a single scold!!!

    Ok – to reply to everyone in order:

    Michelle! Its a terrific recipe – I am now officially hooked on UHT milk in my coffee. Or ice-cream. But it doesnt survive for long here in Kakadu.

    Mother_figure! Glad to know the ladies liked my things – there’s more coming at you shortly!!!
    I should like to try having a boring life – which is why I avoid the red frogs. The Creaming Soda.. well.. we’ve run out. Specifically – I’ve run out.

    and how did they put Digger Bear’s Hat back on??? There’s only one way to put his hat on!!!

    Kris!!! Hi to the girls!! Glad you found the blog funny this morning! I swear to God my life would be so much more amusing if it were happening to someone else!!!

    Shellie!! I have no idea – they both claim that they were “distracted” by separate things (“Ooooh something SHINY!” – DUH) but there’s still a diesel smelling pile of dirt we scraped off the ground… Wonder if I could give them a spoon each and tell them to…

    Barbara (Who for the others is not “Barb” Barbara – this is a new Barbara! – Other Barb is around I’m sure!) No – my life isnt boring. I have heard about boring lives.. I am willing to give it a try! Very flattered you like my crochet!! Please send through photos of your own work!!!

    Dont know about putting Fraggle faces on the fuel lines but the powers that be have been talking about safety chains and self-disconnecting-retractable links. I’ve got a sercet desire to chain people who wander off, because they got distracted, to the trucks….

    catch you all later!!!

  7. hmm forgot to reply to me about Mr.Wipples ears..that’s okay I was one of your first blog fans..doesn’t bother me a bit honest..if I was the needy insecure type it might bother me but I’m not so it really doesn’t bother me at all.

    ;0))

  8. Hi Barb!! As I said- I knew you would be around!!! I havent had a chance to reply to the question re Wipples’ ears – and I havent had the chance to put his ears on! The yarn is actually sitting on my couch – with a hook through it!

    Hugs to my first blog fan!!

    🙂

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