Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast
I think it was the White Queen from Alice in Wonderland who said she could imagine six impossible things before breakfast. I wish the things that I believed in and had to deal with before breakfast were IMPOSSIBLE and also that breakfast wasn’t bolted down at 0400 with a gap of 280 kms before the all important Second Breakfast.
Phone calls during the night, we know, are Bad. Phone calls after you get up, but before breakfast aren’t good either. Within twenty minutes of leaving Toothbrush One, I had the news that we had had an accident at Toothbrush Two – one truck had backed down into another.
BUGGER. BUGGER BUGGER.
I said some other words but… this is a G rated blog (So Kris can show her girls- when it’s not too sad), so I’ll leave them out.
The reason why I don’t like trucks operating too close together, is that 35 – 50 tonnes travelling at 40kmph, doesn’t stop exactly quickly… and you end up with
This is not what happened to our truck. This was a fatality about five years ago, I believe: in South East Queensland. The brakes on the rear truck failed and it went sliding into the one in front. However, one truck backing into another is just STUPIDITY.
Then at about 0615, as the Project Manager (he has a broken leg and can’t drive) and I drove in (Green Car is at home resting, this week) the phone rang again. Bear in mind: it’s still dark and I’m running on a breakfast of Pepsi and Crown Mints.
We’ve had incidents at Toothbrush Three.
BUGGER BUGGER BUGGERBUGGERBUGGER.
And did I say it?
I cannot comprehend how you can drive off in a vehicle that is still attached to a fuel bowser. Especially when you have to step over a 6inch thick hose to get to the ladder to climb up into the truck. Nor do I understand how you can put Unleaded fuel into a Diesel Landcruiser. And if you get bitten by a bug.. harden up and dry your eyes, Princess.
(Not kidding – I have a 15 page incident report to complete because someone got bitten by a March Fly.)
The First one is a massive case of BUGGER and that’s what I would like to do to the two people involved. With a Fish fork. Driving off with a fuel hose still attached means that neither the driver nor the refueller were paying attention to their jobs.
Putting the wrong fuel into your work car: you are officially an IDIOT (I find this incident amusing because we don’t employ that person, and it’s not our vehicle).
And… yeah – I’m still on ‘Harden up, Dry your eyes” for the bug bite.
Sympathy. I know when to feel it.
It’s now Monday afternoon, I’m beginning to suffer from a dose of the sleepydrunkies (when you’re feeling so sleepy and tired that you’re about 0.08 BAL). I think this is a good time to share my recipe for the cure for sleepiesdrunkies.
It’s very simple: Strong coffee.
I call it Fraggle Coffee.
This recipe should not be confused with the one for the cure for the caffeine deprivation withdrawals (that one involves ice-cream) I start to feel on Saturday afternoon. We’ll call that one Caffiedone.
Ok – Making the non-sleepiesdrunkies Fraggle coffee. You need a cup, a tablespoon, sugar, UHT milk (don’t argue!) and Coffee. Plus some hot water.
Noting that I drink this in the middle of the Northern Territory, where the water that comes out of the cold tap is boiling hot, I use only a little hot water.
To start: three tablespoons of coffee (don’t argue!) two tablespoons of sugar (Uh!!! I said don’t!) and a half a cup of hot water. From either the hot or cold tap. And then add another half a cup of the thick UHT milk. Stir. Drink.
Wait ten minutes and the sleepydrunkies turns into Red Fraggle.
Which, considering I will be spending my day chasing after people… is a good thing. And tonight: the border for our friend the Peach Blanket. I have two balls of merino – I’m not afraid of anything!See you tomorrow!